hannahxkate

my mom and i went and looked at a house today.  it was actually a really cute  place.  the kitchen was a little small. not enough counter space but it was still nice. big yard. 

but now comes the awkward part. telling my dad that i will be going and living with my mom, not staying with him. how do i tell him that i dont want to live with him, or my sister.

My 8 year old American Warmblood is green broke, western.  I’ve been riding him for about a year and a half now but live about an hour away and don’t get to ride as often as i’d like to.

he is getting bored with just going around the round pen.  so i am trying to come up with ‘games’ or something to do with him while i’m riding to challenge him.  

we tried jumping last week. did actually really good for a pair that had neither one ever jumped before.  we will be working to perfect that but need something else to do too.  since we dont actually have a jump. just placed a long board on top of two 5 gallon buckets.  we have to find more materials for our make shift jumps.

any suggestions for ‘games’ or activities to challenge both him and i?

“when life gives you lemons……” ok, i get it. this is a really big sour lemon. its not one that with enough sugar could be good, no. its too sour for that.

i dont really want to help house hunt. this isnt how i wanted to move.  i wanted to get away from living with my mom.

Mocha and i tried jumping for the first time :) we finally made it over our makeshift jump. weirdest feeling of my life. but i loved it. and would do it again in a heartbeat! :)

I almost wish my life could be like a country song. Not one of those sad ones. But one like ‘I want crazy’ or ‘all over the road’ or ‘you look good in my shirt’.

Sometimes I have to wonder about people…… does he realize that his fat gut needs to be covered when in public? And yes the briefs were visible too

Some people really just need to pull the fucking stick out of their asses and lighten the hell up. Whatever happened today is likely gonna happen again and the over reaction is gonna take place again. You’re not going to get everyone to walk on eggshells whenever you come into the room. So stop acting like it. Until you can comply with other people’s needs and feelings don’t expect them to comply with yours. Because to them theirs are the most important. An yours are the least.

i want a dog so badly.  but first i have to get my own place.  a place that i dont have to worry about all of those trivial everyday things that people bring into my life.  i need some peace and quiet in my life.  or maybe someone to help with the tension.  someone to help me through all of this. i know that its asking a hell of a lot of someone but i really need it.  

even as time goes by the need for someone else is never going to go away.  I love the feeling of someone laying next to me in bed.  knowing that there is someone there.  knowing that i’m not alone.  

I dont need someone to cuddle with me all night.  i dont need that at all.  but some nights it would be nice.  make the nights go smoother.  

i am just about fed up with this job that i have.  i can’t get more than 30 minutes out of town on the weekends and i cant get any time off.  i’ve asked for 2 1/2 days off (total) for the summer and have been rejected 3 times.

i dont want to work anywhere else but i have to be able to 

1. work
2. get paid
3. be able to get time off

but so far none of the above are happening

if you knew the things that i have done for you then maybe you wouldnt be so quick to write me off as a kid.  I know it doesnt seem like much but its what i have to give.  And i feel comfortable giving it to you.

It seems like its just a little bit of money here and there but  you know damn well that it all adds up.  And it can be a lot when its all said and done.  But you should also know that I will not take the money back, even if i knew exactly how much it was.  I know that you mean well by wanting to but i will take it offensively if you do.  It would be so insulting if you tried to give it back.  

just because i don’t fall all over you doesnt mean i care any less than any other girl. it might even mean that i care more than they do.  i’m not claiming to have a ‘connection’ to you that is deeper than one that anyone else has. i just want you to consider that i may actually really give a shit about you. hard as that is to believe

people think its weird that i really don’t care about being in a relationship.  i always felt bad for my friends in relationships.  but because i’ve had a few casual relationships people think that im a little too lose.  but they dont know how i’ve been hurt.  that the first guy i ever really cared about had another girlfriend when he met me.  i was the other girl.  the one that everyone hates.  

it hurt yes. but here i am.  i didnt let him get the best of me and no one will.  i’ver had my fair share of hard luck.  but I’m guarded now.  i wont let that happen again.

i may not be the one to go around preaching monogamy but it is best.

while looking at the outside from within the details can be unclear. but that doesn’t mean that it looks the same from the other side….

he didnt like me tickling his lip, he just wanted an ear rub :) love my sweet boy

I love y baby so much. and he’s so smart. remembers everything. and was really good when i went riding the next day. only threw a small fit, seemed like a really big deal tho.